engr.albertmike

It has always been my comfort to fall asleep on this journey.  Unwell or not, it's always my peace, lazy or tired.  Just slept through all  the best years of your life. Just slept through all the worst years of your life. Dream on, but while asleep. Dream not when reality awakes. Daydreaming at midnight. Sleepwalking during sunlight. Never aiming for a lucid dream, losing control is a nightmare sweet and calming, vivid dream God forbid false awakening. When everything's an uncomfortable scene, sorrowful, traumatic, sobbing, and sad. Waking up with your pillowcase as the evening's napkin. May those continuous and interconnected be lovely and bright. May those recurring and progressive be happy with your sight shut.

Why do I need a sad song? Why do I need a sad movie? Why deregulate me when I was trying to let it all out?  Was it my personality trait? My detached domain? Or something handed to me, little by little, in my upbringing? Why not teach us to be happy? Why scold or hit when we’re about to cry? Why train us to be “strong” when weakness is human? Why not teach us to cry when we’re sad, scared, or hurt? Why hit me for coming home late when I was happy? Why make me fear being away and anxious about being at home? Why say everywhere is unsafe? Why say anything is scary? Ever wonder why I get sick whenever I need to go out? Why I am always sick? Why are you mad when I’m sick? Ever think I’m tired of being sick? You should’ve let me cry when I welled up. Let me sob when I teared up. Let me weep when I sniffled. Let me be sad. Now that I want to bawl, howl, wail I can’t. All these dark clouds and thunder rolls. How will a bow appear if it never rains?