i hope this message finds you well

Good day!
I hope this message finds you well. 
I am writing to inform you that...
I was unwell.

Struggling and unable.
Anxious, sad, but not depressed.
Agoraphobic. Still wasn't healed.
When you said you overcame yours in just two weeks

You always call to gather us,
for some guidance, catch-ups
When you're just wasting our time with your memoirs
This meeting could've been an email. 

I tried. I tried, trust me.
For me, it was nothing. 
There are factors we can't control.
Sucking it all up makes you gasp for air.

I chased your time for some advice,
for some comfort. 
From 8 AM, I sat down with you at 1 PM. 
Expecting a father or a leader.

"As long as you have time for sleeping,
as long as you have time for eating,
as long as you have time for bathing,
you haven't sacrificed things, you've not given it all."

Those words killed me.
Your face terrified me.
Your voice makes me want silence.
Your presence makes me seek solace.

Your intelligence redefines the dumb.
Your confidence is arrogance.
They look up to you, as you look down on them.
Your fame was stolen credibility.

You're the Mr. Know It All,
and Mr. Perfectly Fine,
Mr. Big, or Mr. Sandman
I'm just Dear Mr. President.

Your consultation is more of silent mockery
Guidance is just veiled self-praise
Your monologue was dressed as concern.
Upliftings that echo more of ego than empathy.

Resistant to others’ knocking, even the doctors’
argumentative toward every idea you never liked
unaware of the elephant in plain sight
loud with opinions no one asked.

I apologize for any inconvenience
and you haven't.
I will do my best to be better.
I hope you do too.

Thank you for the understanding
if you've ever tried.
Sincerely, from those left behind
out of sight, beneath what you called important.